This week on “hold off, Is This a romantic date?” we’re accompanied by Autostraddle President and

L Word

expert
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. That’s right! This event is about lesbian interconnectivity — starting up with buddies’ exes, buddies connecting with the help of our exes, therefore the culture developed by all of that crisis.

Come for gossip, stay for your emotional control. And before that enjoy a casino game that tests Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking would not.)

Thank you so much for the wonderful comments after our very own premier! If you haven’t yet start thinking about providing us with a rating or examine!

PROGRAM NOTES

+ 5 years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood data
that is the intersection of all my personal passions.

+ Discover
the essay
I reference where We mention connecting using my roommates.

+ My personal crush with the few days Mj Rodriguez circulated a songs movie for her song
“one thing to state”
!

+ As anyone who has merely seen some episodes of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush of this few days C.C. Babcock was shocking if you ask me when it turned out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically nonetheless are.)

Drew:

I would personally end up being extremely good along with it present. I would personally never add some other person without their unique permission. Nevertheless the thought of each time someone ended up being like, “make sure you happen to be connected to me personally,” I would be like, “Yeah, it’s the existence I’ve stayed. I do not worry about.” Is strange? Is an issue?

Christina:

No, since if I found myselfn’t, I would feel poor not-being. I might end up like, “Wait, I’m not lying?”

Theme tune plays

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.

Drew:

And thank you for visiting

Wait, Is This A Date?

Christina:


Wait, So Is This A Date?

is an Autostraddle podcast asking the big concerns. To begin with, can it be a night out together? Exactly what are dates? That are dates? Can we like times? These represent the sorts of concerns we answer on this subject here very expert and lovely podcast.

Drew:

I am Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I’m Christina Tucker. I am also a writer at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the internet. Im recovering at explaining my self as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. That’s united states. Which is whom the audience is.

Drew:

Yeah. And all of our major topic recently is The Chart.

Christina:

I just thought it required a sting. I don’t know. That felt truly dramatic, but i believe it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, please. Thank you, thanks. No, no, no. The correct amount of drama.

Christina:

Thanks.

Drew:

Yeah. So we’re referring to lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I love that phrase because it appears like you’ll want to resume the lesbians. It sounds like internet access isn’t functioning.

Drew:

Yes. it is rather sophisticated, very innovative, but additionally has been in existence since there’s been lesbians, i believe.

Christina:

Yeah. I think students would say whenever they found the initial lesbian fossils, they discovered a data alongside of them carved in to the mud. And I believe that’s exactly what that movie means, right? It is more about the data? That flick with Kate Winslet as well as the sand fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it’s about.

Drew:

If only

Ammonite

was about cavern women. I would watch that lesbian movie.

Christina:

Really, when I haven’t viewed it, I’m going to courageously declare that it absolutely was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve a lot of lesbian period pieces, but we have never ever gone right back that much. And I think it’s time we carry out.

Christina:

Let us simply hold getting it further back in its history.

Drew:

Before we become to the major subject, you are still observing you. And I felt that it could be enjoyable to try out a game the place you dudes could actually become familiar with Christina. Therefore the icebreaker for this few days is a tiny bit video game that I call “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

Im, again, so pressured about it. This could you should be ways I come in to the game. This could be my video game mindset, only a little high-key, only a little stressed. Which is ok. We are all discovering.

Drew:

I believe that is great. I think which will move you to more susceptible, perhaps.

Christina:

Certainly my personal favorite emotions.

Drew:

Merely a terror, only a severe terror. So that the method in which “Would U-Haul” really works is I’m going to describe a scenario. Let’s call-it Christina fan fiction. And I also’m likely to pause after every small section becoming like, “Okay, Christina, i understand which you have never ever resided with somebody, do not want to live with someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I will either say yes or we’ll say, “I’m all set.”

Drew:

Unless you — well, we are going to see right here. But i am excited. I believe I perhaps cracked the signal.

Christina:

You have cracked the code? I am excited.

Drew:

Let’s observe very long this takes. Of course you never do, I think you victory? I am not sure how you can find winners here.

Christina:

I am not sure that there exists winners when you look at the game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I’m not sure should you decide’ll trust that next. Thus I’m going to get heading.

Christina:

Reasonable adequate.

Drew:

Okay. Therefore, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at the friend’s marriage. Despite the multitude of romcoms you have consumed, you did maybe not head to this marriage thinking you’ll fulfill anybody because, well, this isn’t a romcom. This is basically the genuine and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You take your designated seat and generally are glancing at your telephone whenever you recognize a female at your dining table is looking at you. She presents by herself as the pal’s former babysitter. She actually is stayed a pal regarding the family members, but she does not truly know any individual there. She appears to be mid-forties and also a striking angular face. You begin talking. She offers to allow you to get a drink. As soon as she stacks up, you realize she actually is six legs large, 6′ 3″ in heels. So you know very well what? I am simply probably stop there and start to become similar, at this time, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am captivated. I’m captivated because i would get set only at that marriage. But thus far I am not U-Hauling anyplace.

Drew:

Cool. That’s entirely reasonable. Completely reasonable. Okay. So you spend whole marriage getting to know each other. There is only a sudden spark and quick chemistry. And yes, you will do attach and also the intercourse is remarkable.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

Therefore this wedding ceremony was in Northern Ca. Which means you both increase the stays for three times to screw and explore and consume at restaurants and bang. And you provide to split the price of the now joint place, but she laughs you off and is similar, “Obviously perhaps not, honey.” And so the after that three days tend to be miraculous. You think your own wall space tumbling straight down. You are falling quicker than you actually ever have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Very simply for clearness’s sake, I’m having difficulty picturing some sort of by which we took three surprise times from work to go out with people I do perhaps not understand. That looks bonkers. But if I did, great for me personally. But i am not really U-Hauling at this stage. It’s going to be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is great. You only met. I get it. I get it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank-you a whole lot.

Drew:

So she comes back to New York therefore return to Philadelphia.

Christina:

This is where We reside.

Drew:

And you’re texting continuously. That’s where you reside plus its where this woman lives. And you are texting on a regular basis therefore see both multiple times 30 days. She’s very hectic together with her task, but she’s rapid purchase you a train ticket to help you appear see this lady and remain at the woman breathtaking brownstone in Fort Greene. After which half a year go. Plus one night when you are out over supper, she asks one relocate together. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And relocate to Ny? I really don’t really like New York. No, I’m not relocating within half a year mark. I’m not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, totally, entirely. Wow. Okay. And that means you hold online dating long-distance. She knows that you want time and the woman is ready to wait a little for you. Even more months move. It really is today already been over a-year. The property manager tells you that they are attempting to sell your house to a developer who’s installing apartments, which means you are unable to renew it. You ought to discover a new location. Your own now gf lets you know that no pressure, but her present still appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this time, I would U-Haul for a few factors.

Drew:

Yay! Fine. Please inform us.

Christina:

Mostly, in a global where my landlord ended up selling my house in order to develop it, my personal property owner is my personal companion, so as that seems like some thing moved wrong inside our friendship. And I also might choose to simply leave Philadelphia anyhow. Just in case I get to go in using my sweetheart over here, that looks okay. That’s fine. Totally fine. But yeah, In my opinion I might require an external power like a mean landlord.

Drew:

That’s very — ok. Used to do genuinely believe that you’d have to need casing receive here, so I’m happy We realized that.

Christina:

Yeah. That is precisely what needs to affect myself initial.

Drew:

Really, i am glad to understand what it’s going to take. Therefore in theory, if you weren’t knocked out, how much cash additional time?

Christina:

Honestly, that could went on for some time. Philly and New York aren’t actually that not one another. I managed to get room over here. We are jumping to and fro. We’re having fun. I possibly could have try to let that roll for a long period until i assume Shoshana becomes the worst person i am aware.

Drew:

I did not know Shoshana possessed home. Well, there you decide to go.

Christina:

There we get. Wow, that was thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thank you for playing.

Christina:

I’m pressured, is obvious.

Drew:

And that I’m pleased that i understand… possibly if you are actually, therefore if anybody’s ever online dating you and wants you to definitely move in, maybe the gf informed Shoshana to offer your house for the sake of your commitment.

Christina:

Honestly the quickest way — somebody would only have to speak with Shoshana and stay like, “only kick their out.” After which she’d resemble, “Yeah, sure. Without a doubt.” That could be the way it occurred, even in the event she did not promote the house. Someone would you should be like, “Could you only kick the lady away so she will just conquer it and move around in beside me?” And she would say yes. Double she’d do that. That’s what friendship is actually.

Drew:

I adore that.

Christina:

Yeah, that is actually breathtaking.

Drew:

Really, I feel like we discovered alot in regards to you.

Christina:

Thanks. I feel like We discovered a lot about my self, as well. Risk of homelessness is actually the thing that keeps me personally relocating any situation, I guess. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that’s great.

Christina:

Which was really thrilling. I’m similarly excited to go into our very own main phase because I think making reference to lesbian connection using this guest, because of this unique guest, I think it will be amazing, Drew. How are you currently experiencing?

Drew:

I’m very excited. It is specialized. By that, What i’m saying is an

L Word

expert, but additionally a small amount of an expert within the subject accessible.

Christina:

In my opinion a couple of things is true, my buddy. In my opinion two things may be real indeed. Will we would you like to present our visitor or do we desire our guest to introduce on their own?

Drew:

I might love our visitor introducing by herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I shall declare that the visitor is the one and only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, speak.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. And is weird is the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, its.

Riese:

I had to not state such a thing. I didn’t actually get it done. I did so state things. I had to sit down right here quietly.

Christina:

And also you happened to be truly brave. Along with your confronts were appreciated.

Riese:

Thank you much.

Christina:

Though this can be demonstrably a sound medium, i would like our audience to understand that Riese was actually creating some great response confronts during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

Absolutely many ways become heard. Guess what happens I mean? That is what i usually state. Im the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m additionally on an undefeated kickball group. That is certainly me personally. You will find your pet dog known as Carol. And I have outdated folks.

Christina:

Congrats in the kickball!

Riese:

Many thanks. I have been a part of individuals.

Christina:

Great. Adoring that. Which is fantastic to take to the, this here matchmaking podcast. That is good.

Riese:

Yeah. I think that… Is there other things?

Drew:

No, i do believe that’s great, Riese.

Christina:

What you may wanna share.

Riese:

I like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.

Christina:

In Contrast to…

Riese:

You Understand an individual goes like…

Drew:

It is like when you strike. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are disgusting, therefore I just exhausted all of them from my personal head.

Riese:

Yeah. And that is all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Well, I immediately looked at you with this subject.

Christina:

That is correct.

Drew:

Because first and foremost, demonstrably, queer ladies and non-binary people in lesbian society currently like, I am not sure, making love with people which people they know have had intercourse with since long before

The L Word

was actually actually a series. But i actually do feel just like

The L Term

solidified a particular social concept of the information with Alice Pieszecki. I really felt like might have some insight into this subject.

Riese:

Its true. Two of the article authors, i do want to say, of

The L Term

had this real chart ones as well as their friends they certainly were attracting from the wall structure or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, I think, had been one among them. She talked to all of us about it, that they had built this. Because clearly, everyone because creator’s area had banged people inside publisher — you understand, as well as the extended web of the generation of lesbians in L. A.. And in addition they saw can they were like, “let us place it from inside the show.” Several of those are on the data. Like, some of the people just who … like, genuine folks are from the chart as bull crap.

Christina:

Which is amazing. Which is the way you learn you’ve made it.

Riese:

Isn’t really that cute?

Christina:

That could be exciting for my situation.

Riese:

And therefore when you yourself haven’t seen

The L Keyword,

first and foremost, congrats. Second, it gets the centerpiece of 1 your direct figure, Alice’s, apartment. She has everything over her wall. Looked after may be the name of a webpage they began known as ourchart.com that flopped. Together with concept … and it is in the pilot, I think. In the very first event, Alice starts dealing with how every person’s linked, because everyone’s connected with this individual. And I also can link you, as if you’re probably only two levels from me. And therefore ended up being true. Like, despite Dana, who had not a lot of experience because she was a closeted football member, they nevertheless were able to connect the lady. And that is actuality since it is real.

Christina:

That is society. Yeah. That is what tradition appears to be.

Riese:

That’s society. That is queer tradition right there. Nowadays every person tends to make their own maps.

Christina:

Yeah. So that was going to be my after that concern, was have either of you made a chart? Because I do not consider We have, I am also type of now thinking like, the thing that was this just last year seated at my residence for easily did not create a chart? Like, that which was the purpose of that, really?

Riese:

I think I’ve done it in my own record, in the same manner like … Because i prefer, I am not sure, organizing details, i suppose, as an idea exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, I think that’s also exactly why Im amazed that You will findn’t accomplished it. I really like the concept of categorizing situations.

Riese:

Correct. Yeah. Because it’s interesting. I am not sure the reason why it is therefore fascinating, however it is. Its interesting getting want, wow, a few of these individuals, they may be linked. Its untamed.

Drew:

From the show, when ourchart.com is actually created, they’ve a genuine information that folks could add things. And I feel like something you joked about on

To L and Back,

and today individuals state constantly is like, if this existed in an actual method, no one would place their own labels onto it, no body would feel safe placing their unique labels on it.

Riese:

You’ll.

Drew:

I would personally. I would personally end up being really great along with it current. I would personally never ever add another person without their authorization. However the concept of similar, whenever some one had been like, “concur that you might be connected to me,” I would end up like, “Yeah, it’s the life i have lived. Really don’t worry about.” Would be that strange? Is that a problem?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, I would personally feel poor not-being … i’d wind up as, “Wait, I am not upon it? Like, I’m sorry, just what?” No, that would actually send myself into lighting moral panic about which i’m as an individual, what I’m carrying out. Was I interesting? Perform individuals {like
https://lgbtagingadvocacy.org/